girl: spank me daddy
me: I am not ready to be a father
worst news of 2k14
me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable
I know some people are allergic to fur but why does this cat have to be so sweaty
slow clap for everyone involved here
It’s weird when you read a headline like that and your first thought is like holy shit, even on death row, what kind of sick fuck would make that request but then you see the guys face and go oh right, yeah, that dude. sure.
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere